Insanity doesn't even begin to describe it
by Crecy
Summary: A normally insane girl ventures to middle earth to have a little fun and a little love. But you have to wonder how long it'll take before they try to kick her out and ban her... come see for yourself! rated for cursing, possible higher rating later
1. And so it begins

**Insanity doesn't even begin to describe it**

Disclaimer: No, I do NOT, repeat do NOT own The Lord of the Rings… though I do own a bunch of merchandise…. Heh, Heh….

**Chapter 1**

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'Why do I like monkeys? I wonder what's for dinner tomorrow night. Where's my toothbrush? Why isn't it raining? Why can't I sing? Is there school tomorrow? Why am I asking so many questions? Why isn't this game fun anymore? Why aren't I sleeping? ' I thought. I was playing my new game, called, 'How many random thoughts can you think of in a row without repeating'. It was fun… but after the third hour it was starting to get boring.

I was lying outside, my back pack beside me, under a tree. I sighed, and closed my eyes. Finally finding sleep near at hand, I drifted off.

**DREAM**

_Blank, black void_

Uhhhhh…. Hello! #echo's# No ones here! #echos# Ahhhhhh shiiiiiiiit...

Giant fiery eye appears

Giant eye: You will be my servant, seer. Bow down to me!

Uh, how about Not!

Giant eye: How dare you!

You know, you have bad breath for an eye with no mouth.

Giant eye: You will not speak to me in such an insolent manner!

Just did.

Giant eye: I am Not Going to put up with you!

Then let me leave.

Giant eye: You will be severely punished.

Like hell.

Giant eye: Quit being so mean!

No way, its fun.

Giant eye: Stop it!

No! HAHAHAHAHA!!! You seriously need some visine. Ya know, for sore eyes… or red eyes… or however that commercial goes.

Giant eye: I'm supposed to be like that. I'm a giant fiery eye.

So? Wow… someone's waking me up… I'M FALLING! I TOLD YOU THE CLWONS WE'RE GOING TO COME EAT ME WHEN I SLEEP BUT YOU DIDN"T LISTEN DIDYOU!

Giant eye: Good riddance… she was gonna make me cry…I don't want to mess up my image here.

**END DREAM**

I jumped up, knocking the person from next to me down scream, "THE CLOWNS ARE GONNA EAT ME!!" I blinked… the looked all around me, before settling on the guy rubbing his jaw on the ground and a bunch of sharp pointy objects facing my way. "Uhhh… Hi, Mr. pointy. Wanna go away now?" I asked the points, obviously making the guys around me confused.

The blond guy stood up, "I do not know what these… clowns are, but they won't eat you. " He said.

"Okay then…" I thought a moment before asking him, "Are you going to eat me? Cuz you coulda had better timing, how about before finals last week?"

"What!? I'm not going to eat you either!" He said startled.

"So no ones going to eat me?" I asked, looking around in paranoia. I glanced over me should a few times, and brushed imaginary bugs and things off me.

"Why, may I ask, is a maiden out in the forest all alone?" Another blond asked.

"Maiden? Where?" I looked around me confused before walking up to one of the two identical brunette guys since they all put they're pointy sharp things away. "Are you a maiden?"

He sputtered for a moment while his twin started laughing. "Yes-"The laughing one spoke, "He's a maiden." He grinned while the 'maiden twin' scowled.

"If I'm a maiden, dear brother, so are you since we look alike." He smirked as the other stopped laughing.

"Your right," The first one looked shocked before the second continued, "We do look alike, but I am by far the superior in looks."

"Why don't you go look in the mirror, you orc." The other countered.

"Elrohir, Elladan, Stop your bickering right now." The main blond dude that I knocked down said.

"Yes Glorfindel." They chorused.

"Right… So…. Who's the maiden?"

Glorfindel sighed. "You are."

"I am? Are you calling me a maiden? Why the hell are you calling me a maiden? What the hell is wrong with you! How dare you! I mean I-." I was cut off.

"It's a good thing." Glorfindel said dryly.

"oh… okay then."

"We will head to Rivendell. " He announced.

" Yeah!" Grabbing a twin on each arm, I started forward." WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD! THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF OZ!"

And so started the first day of insanity.

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Yay! First chappy is dun! I feel proud!! Now…. Reviewing time! Right? RIGHT! starts twitching creepily I'm gonna keep twitching until you review. Twitch twitch

#Points down#

Purple box


	2. Merry Rain dears?

Insanity doesn't even begin to describe it

Disclaimer: Baaaaaaad Crecy. No own! No own!

Chapter 2

"Are you singing about Mithrandir?" Elladan asked.

"No, I'm not singing about merry rain dears." I grinned. I knew who he meant, but I was going to tell him that.

"No, Mithrandir, Gandalf." Elrohir corrected.

"Oh, then why didn't you say so! No, I was singing about the wizard of Oz!"

"Who is this Wizard of Oz?" Glory asked.

"A very awesome person who helps people from behind green curtains. Click your ruby slippers three times before you can go home"

"What?" Elrohir asked. "Why did you sing about Wizards and what slippers?"

"We're off to see the wizard! The wonderful wizard of Oz! Because, because, because, because, Because!!! Because of the wonderful things he does!" I replied by singing loudly and off key while spinning around in circles then grabbing on to them again.

"Never mind, Will you PLEASE be quiet!" Elladan hissed at me… well, I think it was Elladan…

"Just tell me to shut my mouth, it's cooler and sounds less pansy-like!" I told him.

"Fine. Shut you're your mouth!" He hissed again.

Then good old Glory (Glorfindel: Who are you calling old! And don't make me sound like a named inanimate object!) smacked him upside the head. "Be polite to the lady." He reprimanded.

"That's right. Play nice." I smiled sweetly.

"But- but- she just told me to- "He got cut off by another smack in the head.

"This is fun, we should do this more often."

"Do what more often, hit Elrohir or save you in the forest?" The REAL Elladan said.

'Whoops, got them mixed up.' I thought to myself, then replied, "Both! Except you find me after I've kick some major orc ass!"

"You think you could fight an Orc milady?" Elrohir asked me.

"Of course! Didn't collect weapons and learn how to use them for nothing!" I smirked.

"Then where are your weapons?" He asked smugly.

"In my Oh so cool backpack!" I pulled it out, randomly sat on the ground while still holding their arms hostage. They fell awkwardly to the ground next to me and watched suspiciously as I pulled out some weapons. "Here's Sting, Narsil/ Aurduil (Sp might be wrong), A Black Samurai sword, a ninja star like thing( You whipe out the blades then throw type of thing, I dun know the name for them), A Tribute the Earnhardt knife, and a cool looking blade that sits on this stand. (I DO own all of these weapons, I'm a collected who started about 6 months ago)."

Surprising in itself that I had the weapons and that they fit considering Narsil was almost as tall as me (It is! That thing is huge!). "My Oh so cool back is a neat worm hole to my original dimension which therefore transfers what I wish from that destination to this one." I explained without thinking. "Oh cool! I didn't know that!"

They were looked at me that way again. "whaaaaaaaat?" I whined. Turning away quickly they focused on the weapons on the ground.

"Those are very interesting weapons, milady." Glory said, while kneeling to inspect them.

"Anyone calls my 'milady' one more time is getting shot at." I pulled out a be be gun. (I actually know how to use one of these, but nothing real)

"What is that?" 'Dan asked.

"Be be gun. Hurts like hell when you get shot. Be happy its not the real thing." They started to look wearily at me again. "Wanna try!?"

"No!" They shouted.

"Awww…" I pouted.

"You should put your weapons away, we still have several hours walk until Rivendell." Glorfindel said.

"Cool." I packed up and started walking.

Elrohir reached out and turned me around saying, " Rivendell is that way."

"I knew that!"


	3. The randomness that is me

Insanity doesn't even begin to describe it

Disclaimer: Dis…claimer? Whhaat isssss dis wordssss meandss? Me thinks Meh dunno o own.

Translator: Dis…claimer? What is does this word mean? I think I don't own.

AN: Yeah, I do own all those swords. I love watching people react when they find out a teenage girl is a sword collector. And yep, Narsil IS almost as tall as me. Well, I'm 5'4 and it comes up to almost past my chin.) Ooooo, one more thing. Yeah I realized I called them Merry rain dears instead of reindeers…I'm going on a funny urge and saying I meant to do that. Lol!

Chapter 3

'Okies… almost to Rivendell…. Hmmm. Need ways to annoy peoples… Its so fun to see them all flustered. Prank? Maybe, need supplies… so, no. Horrible singing? Already did it. So, no. Random sentences? Sure! That'll work. Wow, didn't know being an annoyance could be so much work!' I thought while walking.

"Lady… You know you never did tell us your name." 'Ro said.

"Its Crecy." 'No use getting them confuzzled on the name, I'll start next time he opens his mouth.' This thought was followed his my attempt at an 'evil laugh'. Then there was laughter in the back round, prolly my inner voice finding the sad attempt funny…

"Lady Crecy --"

"You don't know jack! The ride!" (heh heh, this game is awesome, and hilarious)

"Uh, no I don't believe I do know Jack…"

"I'd rather be anything but ordinary please!"

"You are not ordinary--"

"Time to burn." I told him.

"Wha--"

"what! I slept through first AND second breakfast!"

"But it is now lunch--"

"Oh no thank you, I don't DO mornings" I made a face at that one. Morning's are BAD.

"I'm confused."

"And the cow jumped over the moon!"

It didn't get any farther then that… Elladan fell in hysterical laughter.

"What are you laughing about, dear brother?" Elrohir asked indignantly.

"That- that joke- nev- er gets- old!" Seems he couldn't get out a full sentence out. He kept renewing his laughter in-between. I followed shortly and laughed with him.

Elrohir got more confused. "what are you talking about?"

"We do that all the time to mess with people's heads!" He smacked him in the head then doubled over in laughter again.

'Ro's eyes light up in recognition on the prank and chuckled. "I see we've found someone similar to us." The two of us stopped laughing and we grinned mischievously.

"Dear Valar, Not another one!" Glorfindel cried out, obviously knowing the prank as well.   
  
"You know you love me!" I jumped up, gave him a kiss on the cheek and burst out laughing again at his look.


	4. The Burger Kineen strikes again!

Insanity doesn't even begin to describe it

Disclaimer: I dun own it, damn it damn it damn it!! I don't even own the burger king crowns!

AN: I didn't get them off E-bay in case some of your are wondering. There's a not very popular store in the mall near where I live that sells swords for cheap. They're still awesome quality, there's a much higher priced story right down the way that has the same stuff and is several hundred dollars 75% off, so I go to the cheaper one to get the same stuff! Okay, one more thing, one more reviewer (You know who you are) mentioned twincest. Now that was a shocker… Maybe I'll give one of the twins someone so there is no option about that. shivers That, I didn't expect.

Chapter 4

We had gotten to Rivendell, finally! Time to talk with Lord Elrond! Coolios… never talked with a lord-person-people before…

I kept getting weird looks on the way in… Could have been that I was talking with dah twins like we were old buddies or something… or the fact that I had gotten out a paper crown from Burger King and put it on my head. "I am the burger king! I mean Queen!" I yelled.

Elrohir grinned and bowed extra low, "My _Kineen_ (_kin-_ from king and _een-_ from queen)!" Elladan pushed him over and bowed too… then he got pushed to the ground by Elrohir and they started a mock battle, picking up sticks from the ground.

"Never shall you beat me! I will win for the Kineen!" 'Ro shouted.

"I will win for the Kineen! Never will I let you beat me!" Elladan repeated slightly rearranging the words.

"Alright! I'm getting fought over! New experience! Usually they're fighting to get away!" I jumped up and down excitedly.

Elrohir jumped forward and pretended to stab his brother, fixing the stick between his arm and side. "Noo! I have been defeated! I am sorry my Kineen! But I will not lose alone!" With that Elladan "stabbed" his brother as well, catching it between his arm and side.

"alas! I thought I had defeated! But it seems that I was careless!" Elrohir fell to the ground and fell unmoving next to his brother.

"Aw hell! If you can't beat them, join them!" I pulled out one of their "swords" And "stabbed" myself with it, shouting, "Goodbye cruel world!"

Glorfindel walked by trying to hide his laughter and non too gently kicked a twin in the side. "Come on, we need to see your ada." He told them.

I sat up, "But my ada ain't here!"

"But theirs is" a new voice came up.

"Yo wazzup my homies! You ain't gonna bust a cap on my ass are you?" I started laughing again at his incomprehension. "Beware of dah Ghetto!" (A/N: Don't shoot me! Humor purposes only!)

" I do not know of 'dah ghetto'. Is that were you are from?" Lord Elrond asked.

"Nope! I'm from Sweet, sunny Cali!" I stated proudly.

"Then what is this Ghetto?" He asked.

"Somewhere you wouldn't last long, but don't worry! I'll protect you!" I quipped.

He chuckled. "Come, let us go to my study and discuss why you are here."

"Okily doikly." I jumped up from the ground grabbed both the twins and marched on.

"Hey! We were _trying_ to play dead there!" 'Ro said.

"Yeah, well I brought you back to life, now get along lil doggie." I walked on, up the steps, and so on and so forth…. And on and ever on… and damn! When does it end! …oh, there it is. Well, there we are…la, la, la… oh yeah! I'm supposed to follow them in. Following now… okay! I'm here!

"Heeeello! Crecy?" I heard.

"Yep-a-dodals!"

A black stare, amused chuckle, and a "Strange girl, you are."

"I know. Isn't it great? Most call me a freak though. I laugh and ask them how long it took them to figure that out!"

"Riiiiiiiiight." Elladan said.

"wrrrrrrrong." I giggled.

"whatever!" Elrohir broke in, grinning.

"What a start of a B E A U tiful friendship!" I smirked as we looked at each other mischievously.

Apparently Lord Elrond has the same line of thought as Glorfindel when he exclaimed, "Not another one!"

"Why does everyone think that!" I cried out indignantly. "I'm not _that _bad!"

"No, but put us all together and you have mordor's child!" 'Ro exclaimed.

"Alight! Let the Pranks begin!" I yelled and pumped my fist into the air.

"No! No pranks! One I can deal with, two is pushing it, but three? What have I done to displease you Valar!" Lord Elrond asked while looking upwards.

"What?" I asked. "Is there something on the roof? Or do you have x-ray vision and are looking at the sky or something? I dun see nothing. Oh look! Double negative!"

More strange looks for a strange person. Cool!

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Alirght another done! Yayz! Does happy dance Review! you know you want too! If you do I'll give you Burger king crowns! and you can be a Kineen too! I hope you don't mind junomagic, but I'm starting to put up story recommendations. I decided that some stories should just never die. Your story is awesome!!!

* * *

**_Story recommendations:_**

**The Tides of Time and the Bones of the Earth**

**Summery:** 500 years after the War of the Rings, ME is in danger again... A young woman sets out to find the elves & bring back magic.But will they help? A review:Excellent story. Well researched, well written, and, well, just well done everything!

**Authored by:** JunoMagic

**Rated: **R

**Chapters:** 40

**Statis:** Complete

**Where you can find it:** http :www .fanfiction. net /s/ 1934905/ 1/ ( Take out the spaces and Put it in the URL bar and it should come up. The damn thing wouldn't let me put it up otherwise. )


	5. Wired Chika

Insanity doesn't even begin to describe it

Disclaimer: Do I own it now? No… --Takes a step forward-- Do I own it now? No… --Takes another step forward--. Do I own it now? No… --Continues--

A/N: Ahem To Elvenelements: Twins are cool, twincest is not. Lol. And surprisingly, I have a secret supply of sugar in my blood stream, so I don't need to eat it all the time. --Grins-- ohhh, one more thing. I would love to write longer chapters, but it would take forever to get out, I'm too impatient to see what you think, and I don't have a long enough attentions span most of the time.

To JunoMaigic, I'm glad you loved having you story recommended, cuz I was happy reading it. Lol. And it's like Hitchhikers guide? Cool! Thank you for the great complement!!

You know what was funny? I was waiting for reviews for hours yesterday and today, so I went to my story to find out I DID get reviews! I just didn't get notified! You guys make me feel loved! Lol.

Chapter 5

The convo in the room didn't take long and it was rather boring… A lot of ' where did you come from?' and me givin lots of random answers, like "Well, my mommy and my daddy decided to get it on-" And interruptions going around the lines of 'Oh dear sweet Valar! That's not what I meant!'.

So all in all, I get to hang around with the twins and get to have my own room. In fact! I even got my very own dinner dedicated to me! Yep! Now everyone make a nice long line, don't rush! You'll get your turn meeting the wonderful me! --Blinks, then looks around-- Damn, no one's here! Nooo!

Anyway, I even get to sing a song from my home land. Just wait to you see what I picked! --Insert evil laughter here--

Elrohir and Elladan were 'escorting' me to my room. Opening the door to my new room, I grinned and jumped on the bed. Bouncing I looked around, Blue and sliver lined the room, swirling prettily and intricate patterns. Awesome!

"Oh cool room! I'll miss my old one though, it had stars painted on the roof!"

"Really? That must have been, what do you say? Cool?"

"Yep! Hey, what do you know! I'm teaching slang to the dull elf lords!" I giggled.

They looked indigent, "We are not dull elf lords! We are far from it!"

"Hmmm, I'll get back to you on that one. My curiosity has takin over my mind! I need to explore! Get lost! Ask someone for directions! Get even more lost! Then stumble into some really cool secrets and blackmail people! See? I have it all planned out!"

"Seems that you do," Elladan chuckled.

"And now we'll leave you to get ready for the feast in your honor. The dresses are in the closet-"

"WHAT!? HELL NO!!! DRESSES BAD! DRESSES BAD! AHHH!!" I Yelled, horrified. They both jumped.

"Uhhh… in that case I guess you could wear some leggings…"

"Yay!" I jumped up, hugged them, the shoved them out of the room.

I ran into the bathroom, found that the elves of Rivendell had actually indoor plumbing, not like home, but pretty damn close. I ran into the closet, which was in fact a walk in closet, not just some small one that I ran into and knocked myself out… I may do that later when I try to figure out where the end of it is…

Anyway, I put on some black leggings, and a dark red tunic with black embroidery. Looking in the mirror, I grabbed my OSC (Oh so cool) Backpack, and put on some make-up. My eyes were smoky, my lips a reddish brown since the whole blood red thing didn't work out with my complexion, and several pieces of jewelry. In other words, my six rings, two larger bands with stars and swirls designs on them on my middle fingers, and two smaller bands look exactly the same around my index and ring finger on both hands. I also wore earrings that hung down about two and a half inches with a bunch of little moons all over them hanging on the chain, and a heart linked choker necklace. (This is exactly what I'm wearing right now as I type.).

I was all ready for this little feast! Hopefully no dancing involved… I can't dance…Well, in this day in age, I can dance in clubs.

I walked outside just as Elrohir and Elladan, all spiffed up, arrived. Grinning and whistling they held out an arm each, and I grabbed on to each.

**__**

Story recommendations

The Games of the Gods

Summery: The last thing Rachel wanted to become was a too-perfect Mary-Sue. But when she dies and gets transported to Middle-Earth with her friend, she finds she has little choice in the matter. Book-verse, MS bashing, sorta MS. Rating for language.

Authored by: Crimson Starlight

Rated: PG-13

Chapters: 80

Status: Complete

Where you can Find It: http : www .fanfiction. Net /s/ 1503169/ 1/ (once again, take out the spaces, put it in the web bar, and there you go!)


	6. To swear in front of Elf Lords

Insanity doesn't even to begin to describe it

Disclaimer: I dun own it… I dun own it… I dun own it… damnit! I said I dun own it!

A/N: THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS! YOU ARE ALL AWESOME! And insane-elf-girl13, I would love to tell you where you could get a pair, but I got the one of a kind (Or very limited, unfortunately) at a craft fair.

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Chapter 6 

Walking in the room was quite interesting. Everyone looked at me, then everyone started whispering to their neighbors… Just wait until I'm around for the while. But then again, they always say first impressions last the longest. Well, not really ,I just made that up…

Anyway, I got a disapproving look from Lord Elrond on my choice of clothes, but I guess we'll get to that in no time flat.

"Good evening, Lady Crecy, but may I ask why you are not in a dress?" Lord Elrond asked. Yep, I knew It wouldn't take long.

"Well, Its sexist to believe that women can't do what men can. Where I come from, The United States Of America, Everyone is equal, no matter what color your skin is or your sex is." I explained.

"Your King allows this? I've never heard anything like it." He replied interestingly.

"Well, we don't have a king, or any royalty, Just democracy. We vote for a leader who has certain requirements for the position. Then for all the major questions like if a rule will be past or not, everyone of age will vote for it or against it. Majority rules."

"This is an interesting topic, but I saw not press tonight. We shall eat and enjoy the feast!" He finished.

"Alright! No explaining! At least yet… I must hide when that happens…" I Blinked and looked around shifty eyed. A few weird looks later, another conversation was brought up.

"Crecy?" The twins said in their creepy way of speaking at the same time.

"That's my name don't wear it out… Oh my GAWD I can't believe I said such a cheesy old line… Um… Yes señor?"

"What's señor mean?" 

"Its Spanish for Mr., which is like the 21st century's equivalent of Lord. I'm smart! S-M-R-T!!!!"

"Smart has an A in it." Elrohir stated.

"I know, dumbass."

"Don't call me a dumbass! I am no animal!" His eyebrows rose up to his hair line, I wonder how they get up that far.

"I beg to differ." Elladan smirked. 'Ro threw him a glare.

"I meant your asshole, dipshit!" I started to laugh. He started to blush, so I cracked up even further. Trying to stop I put on a very stern face and tried as hard as I could NOT to laugh. Apparently my hardest wasn't very hard because I managed to burst out laughing seconds later except taking both the twins in the laugh fest as well.

"Ahem" I heard. Snickering, I looked up to see Lord Elrond. "Where did you learn such language?"

"School!" I replied enthusiastically.

He raised an eyebrow, opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by… guess. Oh come on, its easy! Think! Oh fine… I'll tell you… it was me!

"I can do the eyebrow thing too!" I raised my eyebrow at him. "See! I'm multitalented!"

"So it would seem."

Successfully off topic that I just cursed in front of elf lords, we ate some more. And let me tell you! The food was awesome! I tried a little of everything, and it was yummy. I was even planning to go find the kitchens later and messing around. Complement them, then teach them some good modern dishes. Won't _that_ be interesting!

Okay! Time for the feast! The feast that will involve dancing --shudders--, singing --evil grin--, alcohol --raises eyebrows--, and plenty of hot guys to look at --smiles suggestively and winks--.


End file.
